paths

 

Drinking chai, eating cacao nibs and thinking about my life right now.  I've been on a few adventures, uranian-energy wise, new and different things pretty much for the purpose of the experience and it's been fun.  As far as my career life, I'm working part time as a buyer at a health food store so I decide what gets stocked and how it's merchandised.  I get a bunch of free food and supplements, some of it very expensive raw goodies and ridiculously expensive supplements (I'm taking 300mg of CoQ10 a day, talk about energy! it's like $50 for a month's worth normally).  In the evenings I massage some standing clients.  I am about to hunt down an evening gig somewhere a few nights a week and then I'll be pretty set on the career thing for a while.  Part time this and that works for me.  It took me until age 30 to learn that (and to not even attempt the corporate world.) We really do learn things the hard way with age! 

I'm gathering up members to make music once again.  Our first practice should be either this weekend or next.  I'm finally going to do the kind of music I've always wanted and take the lead on this group.  In the past I've always taken a passive role and just floated on by.  This is changing!  Though I find that I have so many passions, it's hard to squeeze them all into a week.  It's been on my mind lately... that this is my life.  It's not a dress rehearsal, it's happening right now.  I've been manifesting my intentions and that's been giving me the confidence to make even more.  Things are manifesting quickly, so dream big! 

Life stuff and Yacon spirit cookies

I broke up with coffee.  We just weren't working anymore.  As of this weekend I have officially moved on in my life!  Though I'm having a rebound affair with Yerba Mate... oh I've flirted with him in the past, it's just that he is helping me quite a bit to not miss or think about You Know Who anymore!  I'm also strictly off sugar.  I already have a pretty strict avoidance policy but for now this is also extending to honey, maple syrup and even agave.  I used something called Yacon syrup in cookies I made with millet flour that came out delicious.  Yacon is really cool. It's a root from Peru that tastes sweet yet has no sugar.  Plus it's fun to say.  I told a friend of mine I made Yacon sweetened millet seed cookies and she about died with laughter. Yeah... fine...go on and laugh! Actually I was laughing the whole time I was making them.  I fully realize what a weirdo I am. ;)  Ok, so as I was saying, sugar hates me big time.  This past week my hypoglycemia was out of control.  It's always been somewhat of an issue but lately it's become a really big issue, hence me breaking up with coffee and all things sweet.  I've also let go of the goal of someday being 100% raw food.  Emphasis on raw with Mediterranean works best for my body. I'm cool with that, going to let expectations and guilt go, for good. I've been experimenting with whole grains -millet, amaranth, black rice, wild rice, etc. more and I've found whole grains plus beans make me feel like I can function again.  Amino acid combinations, and all that.

I've fallen back in love with clothing and style again.  This past year I went extremely simplistic in terms of style because I didn't feel inspired, quite honestly.  The only thing that stoked the fires of inspiration somewhat was the fashions of ancient Greece. But most of the time I was running off to school and not thinking artistically.  I'm feeling artistic urges tingling again.  Music, painting, design, sewing, dance.  I officially have too many interests!  I guess that never goes away completely but it comes in waves, sometimes stronger than other times.

My hair is healthy again.  Monoi de Tahiti oil is the bomb, folks. Magical gardenias plucked by moonlight and soaked in coconut oil. Seriously. It wouldn't even look any better if unicorns made it themselves. If I did a before and after picture it would be a picture of a bale of hay and then a Pantene commercial. Ok, maybe not that bad but you get my drift. I like my hair again! Hooray.

My exam is in 2 weeks and that will be another big, huge checkmark on my list! Getting in that last bit of studying, especially Chinese medicine, which is delightful and confusing all at the same time.

Monoi De Tahiti and healing my hair

I have been rather obsessed with healing my poor hair lately, whom I have put through such terrible experiments that I feel quite bad about it all. I have dyed it back as closest to my original color as I could, which was a 3 step process that I had to meticulously research as my hair has been bleached and fried by a salon last summer when I was a model for them (awful experience, I won't go into the details... I should have walked out and them frying my hair was a lesson learned - big time!) Well it's pretty close to my natural color now, a med-dark golden blonde and I am so relieved, however, I have been doing deep conditioning treatments with coconut oil and rosemary for the past two weeks and it has made all the difference! Honestly, I can't believe it's done so much for my ends which I thought were beyond repair. Coconut oil is my hair holy grail! I promised my hair that I would only treat it well from now on and bless it with essential oils and lovely things only. My natural color is amazing actually... what was I thinking otherwise??


Well I was doing a bit of research on something called Argan oil and stumbled upon something else entirely, called Monoi De Tahiti - a Tahitian oil that consists of gardenia flowers soaked in coconut oil. Tahitian ladies use it on their skin and hair and apparently it smells amazing. My intuition practically yelled at me - GET IT NOW! So I placed an order, though I had never heard of it or smelled it before. Upon more research, ancient Tahitians use this oil in birth and death ceremonies and it's considered magical and sacred. I'm waiting on it in the post but I'm betting this stuff is amazing because just thinking about it is making my solar plexus all fluttery! I'm getting the feeling that yes, this oil will help my hair heal even more but there's something else to it. I once had a powerful experience with a blooming gardenia bush on a full moon. The smell was intoxicating, I felt like I was in a cloud of love and the gardenia bush told me to take one and wear it because "it would help me to heal my heart". I'm making realizations as I write this, no wonder I felt so drawn to Monoi De Tahiti!
I'm having some crazy powerful dreams lately, and I'm getting messages from a totem animal again, daily- in dreams and in waking life. I'll write more about that later. It's a story that's still being weaved and I'm trying to make sense of it all. I'm being brought back into this powerful current of awareness and magic. I truly feel like I'm dancing on a tightrope of worlds right now! It's a good feeling though, like veils are being lifted and balance is being restored inside of me once again.

everything comes full circle

I am being astounded at how circular my life lessons are. People truly hold mirrors for us, reflecting back what we are to ourselves through them. Sometimes this is uncomfortable actually, and sometimes it just plain sucks! But nonetheless, in my newly grounded stance, these lessons are invaluable. The reflection may be extremely magnified, in order to get the lesson. Then it just becomes absurd, except that your dealing with real people and after all the mulling over symbolism, still must act with compassion and grace. Balance...

relaxing, clearing, and rose petals

My mini vacation was exactly what I needed. I spent most of the time swimming, sunning and trying out massage freebies at the convention. I still have bruises from a deep tissue treatment to my shoulder/pecs where the guy used his feet to get deep pressure and had me do range of motion with my arms. Even though it looks like I've been the victim of abuse, my upper shoulders do feel less tense. I laid on a 'biomat' made of amethyst and felt totally stoned for the rest of the day. I guess theres a reason they cost upward of a thousand dollars! I couldn't imagine using that on a daily basis and being able to function in the real world. Maybe before bed...

I got a nice sized sample of a headache/digestion blend from Earth Angel Oils which I used in the bath last night. It's a blend of lavender, peppermint, pine and geranium and was very relaxing. Good quality oils and you can tell they are made with love.

I visited my friend Bashar for a day and he took me to the middle eastern grocery where we got labna and zaatar - a lebanese kifir that you put on pita or toast and an herbal blend that's made with oregano, thyme, sesame seeds and sumac that you sprinkle on top. It tastes amazing and he's amused that I'm so obsessed with it! I also got lebanese rosewater packaged in glass (like it's supposed to be) which smells heavenly. Last night I blended it into a facial with powdered rose petals and corn meal and my skin feels soft and refreshed. It needed something after the harshness of swimming all day in chlorinated water. My hair is still in recovery.

Today is ground, center and get caught up day. This upcoming week is going to bring changes. Clearing my mind, heart and space in order to make a place for the best manifestations possible.

The new chapter, the uncertain chapter

The past few days have been nice. Graduation was good, I got caught up on some chores then had a date that night. He got me chocolate which was cute, and he was nice, but I felt no connection even though I was happy to hang out and chat for a bit.
Yesterday a classmate and I spent all day at the beach, swimming and lazing about on the sands and eating salad greens by the handfuls. I brought the fruit and we had our pita chips broken into by a thief crow! He flew off with one and we attempted to give him chase, his caws breaking through the sky like laughter. He pecked an awkward hole in the bottom of the bag which had crumbs spilling out everywhere for the rest of the duration of our trip! Later we went to my favorite beach to watch the sunset and had a ridiculously expensive margarita. The sunset was pink and orange and spread across the entire sky. We picked up shells and walked to the rocks and watched the almost-full moon come out. A 19 year old tried to pick me up on the dock. Fun times.

Now I am trying to organize my world and major uncertainties have come up. I have had a dream rather recently of my home being flooded and about a year ago I had a dream with a similar theme. I had another dream recently about the landlord wanting to 'drill for oil under the house' and how bad it would be but she wouldn't listen. I have done a tremendous amount of personal research on the gulf and have weeded through a lot of opinions, discarding things when my gut says 'move on'. I take the opinions of geologists more seriously, they don't have any reason to sensationalize anything and they aren't exactly glamorous reading, however certain things concern me which have a direct impact on my life and where I go from here.

There is a large quantity of methane under where the failed drilling is, which geologists are greatly concerned about. The first unstable sign of a methane release is fissures and cracks in the seabed, which is now happening. If methane is released a number of things could happen, one of them being a tsunami. I am reading this and feeling uneasy because it made me remember the dream I had last night, that I didn't even remember upon waking this morning. I don't want to be worried and fearful, but I want to be safe. I don't know where to go from here, but I'm getting a feeling I may have to leave Florida. I love it here and this makes me sad. Where do I go from here? More later, I have to think.

Love and river magic

Yesterday I went down to the dock by the river at sunset like I normally do. It's a very nice stroll to the dock, very private and surrounded by nature and lots of green. I love it and look forward to it, even though it's gotten extremely muggy lately. As I was walking I began to feel a surge of love move through me. I started to laugh and everything I walked by I told I love you to. I love you cypress tree! I love you amazing dragonfly. I love you green grass, moss, dirt, clouds! I felt silly and free and I could feel my heart chakra opening up and freeing up the sadness I have been dealing with because of the painfulness of my beloved Gulf's crisis. I got to the river and sat on the dock. I usually say prayers for the river, the gulf, all of water really and ask that people be awakened and that love will prevail. Well I did that but I also started sending out massive waves of love. All of the sudden I look down where my legs are dangling and see this large snout poke up out of the water. I drew my legs up thinking it was an alligator but then noticed that the snout was smooth and grey and just then it blew out a puff of air and I saw the large grey body rise to the surface. A manatee! I've never seen a manatee in the river! I didn't even know they came in this far. She swam by and I saw her big flat tail swoosh under the water... it had a long white scar along it's entire surface. And then she was gone. I felt so blessed I just radiated happiness all over the place and couldn't contain myself. Of course I sent her love too. And a million thanks.

life detox and pretty natural makeup

Today I'm having tea, reading, cleaning and getting some chores done. I find that I need a day or so "peopleless", so that I can recoup and rejoin the world and actually be productive. I made a stop at a discount store as something told me to go in and sniff about and I found natural eyeshadows for very cheap! And it even comes in biodegradable cardboard packaging which is awesome! It's a bigger brand, Almay- Pure Blends, but they did a decent job in actually having natural ingredients, good quality (looks really nice and shimmery on... I got Cocoa, Apricot and Sage, very warm) and actual thought went into packaging which is the part that usually frustrates me the most. Think of all the mascaras and plasticy lipstick bits that get tossed away... To see this change in a bigger brand was nice. I also got a pumice stone to replace the plastic one I use on my tootsies when it's done.

I'm extremely girly girl when it comes to skincare. I need the energy of stones and flowers to keep my floral spirit lovely! That's one of the reasons I love aromatherapy so much. It's powerful floral and plant essences that act like medicine for your whole self- body, mind and spirit. Scents really affect me. Synthetic scents have made me physically ill before, in a headache and clutching my stomach kind of way.

I find that in detoxing my body, my life follows. I want to refresh my knowledge of herbalism and learn more. I see some classes every now and then around here, I'm going to look into it again. Plant medicine makes me very happy.

Neat links:

Life Without Plastic

Shea Butter & lavender cream in a biodegradable jar!

Love & leaves,

Shannon


P.S. -

Speaking of detoxing I found this:

Why they really add Fluoride to the water - it calcifies your pineal gland (aka the third eye chakra). Who wants a crusty third eye? How to detox.

Determination

I have shifted into a new awakening or should I say, wiped off the last layer of cobwebs that I apathetically allowed to grow over my eyes in painful years past. I am sniffing around the web and many light workers are feeling despair right now, some to the point of considering checking out completely. A few months ago I could have joined them, also feeling the weight of this existence, though I'm happy to say that has changed. Something has switched on inside of me, which I can only describe as a light that refuses to be extinguished. The brightness of the light can be obscured by dust and veils of illusion that we allow to creep in. Doubt, pain, disappointment. But we must keep on cleansing the vessel that contains our light, and being ever vigilant now about keeping it pure. If I sound militant and fanatical it's because I am! These times require a strong heart and a lion's courage. Let the past drop away and get active about dreaming in a new existence. The time is NOW.


I have been considering all of the ways I can make my living more sustainable again. I am sick to death of plastic, it is everywhere. A huge conscious effort must be made in order to distance myself from it as much as possible. I don't use that much disposable stuff, but the little I do use now seems like too much. Anything seems like too much and it's going to require a reorganization of my life to some degree, which I'll be most happy to do. It's been something I've been meaning to get back to for a long time now, and there's no more excuses left. I'm even researching the wooden toothbrushes I used to use. Using a plastic toothbrush for a few months and then throwing the whole thing away only to get another one seems insane. Paper napkins seem stupid when you can have pretty cloth ones and just wash them. Simple yet powerful changes. I have a feeling this reawakening has been brought on by cleansing internally. Your inside state reflects your outside world so make it beautiful and inspiring!

Bamboo Water Bottle: http://www.alibaba.com/product-gs/296665396/bamboo_water_bottle.html
You can only get it in bulk, wonder if I can find this anywhere else??

Brooks Pearwood Toothbrush: http://www.ediblenature.com/store/p/19505-Brooks-Pearwood-Natural-Toothbrush.html?feed=froogle
There is another brand also but this one is softer.

Cloth Moontime Pads: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=110531418586&ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT
These are pretty and the price is great. I had used my old ones for YEARS before they became unusable. So much more comfortable and the investment pays off in a couple months anyway.

Jute sacks for Produce and bulk: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=350235357449&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT
You know the thin plastic bulk bags? They annoy me because I get so much produce and bulk. I try to recycle them but do they really get recycled? I'm considering getting these, I think a set of 6 or so would do.

Wooden Comb: http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=270572897798&ssPageName=STRK:MEWAX:IT
My longtime friend Lorianne has inspired me to look into this. The plastic bristles on my brush are all breaking off and I don't want to get another hunk of plastic to throw away next year. This will last forever and it's lovely. I could dot it with essential oils and run it through my hair and the wood would soak up the scent. Gorgeousness. These people also make wooden cutlery!


These are just a few replacements but think about if everyone did this. You would be living gently and your life would be filled with more light.

simplicity

It seems every weekend I pick a new purification project. Last weekend it was my closet, today I am doing the rest. It is amazing how much stuff one can accumulate. Some people use 'stuff' to fill every nook and cranny, perhaps keeping them company so that they don't feel lonely. Some are just unbalanced, and use 'stuff' as a way to fill the hole inside of them that of course, will never be filled in that way. I actually don't have very much 'stuff' anymore, but even what I have feels like too much and so I am pairing away and becoming light. Everything around me should be a direct reflection of me, the current me, the true me, the real me. I need space and air to breathe in order to create. Empty the cup so I can fill it up with new inspirations and fill my world with beauty *and* usefulness. I think it is so important to be very conscious of your world... to live deliberately! So I arranged an art space and lined up my paints, cleaned out my brushes, lined up blank canvases white with possibilities. I spray painted an ugly old shelf gold to fill with my essential oils and empty blue glass bottles ready for making blends. Making sacred space and giving respect for the things that give me joy, it felt very simple but the symbolism profound.

(this is a pic of a spa i thought was amazing! my laptop is filled with random pics of inspiration. Love the air and light here and of course the plants.)

floral consciousness & ancient greece

It's so hard to believe that I only have 2 1/2 months of massage school left! Time has gone by so quickly, it seems more so than usual and it leaves me a little breathless at times. I have begun my outside massages and it has been very good so far. As I am working, I feel peaceful inside, I feel my hands turn hot with energy. I go into another consciousness as I let my hands move over the muscles, intuitively stopping at certain points, coaxing the stuck energy out. I love being a bodyworker, I have this feeling that all is right when I'm working. It feels sacred, I feel like this is secretly temple work. This is my way to be an old soul, a priestess working amongst the people and get 'away' with it without having to succumb to a more structured, capitalistic work life. I pretty much always use lavender or other aromatherapy oils and I find it heightens the massage so much more. I knew flowers and plants are to have a major part of my future, I had a dream last summer of standing in a field of tall purple flowers blooming, and they were just clustered with honeybees! There were so many honeybees I didn't know if I should even move for fear of stepping on one. I didn't shreek and freak out like I probably would in real life (well, maybe not honeybees...) I just stood very still and marveled. The dream has every marking of the Goddess, I took it as a sign I'm being protected and blessed. I'm greatful for that! There are still uncertainties but I'm trying to be better about being ok with the unknown. You just have to be, in order to survive.

I have been continuing my love affair with all things Greek. I wish I was going with my friend to Greece this summer but the timing isn't right just yet. It will happen though, I know it. To swim in the teal-clear sea and take pictures of crazy sea creatures! A parallel is occuring, it's been going on for about a year now. My body feels best with the (vegetarian version) of the Mediterranean diet. I didn't do this on purpose actually, I just noticed what I had been craving fell in line with it. Fresh fruits, veggies, feta, olives, figs, whole grain break dipped in olive oil and herbs, greek style yogurt, a glass of red wine in the evening.... I dress in simple flowing styles and greek sandals... pretty much always. I don't feel comfortable in anything else! I had a lady stop me in the laundromat a few months ago and ask me if I was from NY. I said no, why? She said you have a NY style! I should have corrected her and said no, I have an ancient greek style. ;)

(pic isn't me, I just like it.)

wood and shells

Tonight I'm putting a bunch of amazing jazz albums on my computer from the library, soaking in all of them, thinking about the rooted sense of self that finally seems to be emerging from me. For many years I experimented with every kind of look, color, hair, music, etc. Trying on characters that seemed to be a part of me but enlarged, exaggerated, playful. I think every creative person does this to some extent, to play with your sense of self and see what you can become before shapeshifting into a new version to experience that and so on. Sometime within the past year I have come to grow roots into my solid sense of self, something pure and authentic that has always been there, waiting for me to come home to, a kind of sanctuary of self with a candle burning in the window that says- welcome home friend. It's a secure feeling, that even with life's uncertainties I'm at home within me. I'm wearing more and more wooden jewelry because I'm really feeling like I've got roots and it feels very natural. Wood and shells, colors of the sea. When I first went solitary, not looking outside of myself so much, I felt panic and fear which I had to perservere through. It was rough waters, I won't lie. But something happened, I started to realize my spirit is pretty amazing and I didn't come here to fall apart over human relationships, or to loose myself in an array of whatever-of-the-moment. The tree started to grow roots, buds formed and I can now see... finally... that blooming is inevitable.

Powerful, Inspiring Women - Frida Kahlo

Not so long ago I made a conscious decision to, on a regular basis, influence myself with the art, music or dance of women whom I find powerful and inspiring. This came on the heels of feeling absolutely disgusted with the vast majority of fashion magazines and other popular entertainment we are pummled with constantly. There is no place for powerful or artistic women in modern entertainment. She is cut, butchered, rearranged, disempowered and left to lie bleeding at the feet of a man as he walks away. I could go on but I'll get back to my evening. Tonight's chosen feature was The Life and Times of Frida Kahlo. I am so enchanted with Frida, her highly personal art, her style, the way she always wore fresh flowers in her hair. It's like she stepped in through from another world and though she was not immune to pain by any means, her mantra was always vitality and life. The last painting she ever did, 8 days before she died, was a still life of juicy watermelons cut in various ways. At the bottom, carved into a slice she wrote -"Viva la Vida" ... Long Live Life.

Ancient Egyptian wrinkle cream

"The standard anti wrinkle cream recipe in ancient Egypt include a teaspoon of sweet almond oil, and two drops of frankincense oil. This was gently massaged into the freshly cleansed skin each night. Almonds were very popular for cosmetics such as wrinkle creams in ancient Egypt. While the Egyptians mostly used the oil that they extracted from bitter almonds, the common anti wrinkle variation on this recipe includes sweet almond oil. This is especially true for its aromatherapy use. Its smell is mild and its texture light, so it absorbs quickly into skin."

Frankincense essential oil has also helped some people overcome skin cancer naturally. It smells heavenly and is protective, calming and elevates spiritual vibrations, banishing negativity. I burn arabian frankincense and it never fails to clear the space and make it feel almost like a temple.

Massage learnings and pretty silvery belly bidness

Today I finished a bunch of projects for my massage therapy class. Not anything major due now for a week, so I can concentrate on MUSCLES and then some more MUSCLES. I have learned an insane amount of body stuff in mere months! I can feel my body mechanics are finally clicking into place, taking the strain off my wrists and hands when I let them just relax and keep good posture. There are about a thousand different things you have to keep in mind when are are first learning so that, in time, they come naturally. There are also different discoveries I've made about myself... like holding major tension in my shoulders and jaw all the time. Getting almost daily massage and belly dance have helped immensely though, I don't feel as tight as I once did. It's good I'm healing this stuff now, some people hold tension in their bodies their entire lives and have to deal with various body pains as they age and bad habits solidify in the fascia. Then of course it's blamed on old age... "you'll see someday, honey!"

I got my silver coin bra top in the mail today! I have to paint the beads black to match the belt and figure out what to do about the bra situation for *underneath* the coin bra but I put on the entire ensemble and it looks so silvery and lovely! I feel like a temple dancer clothed in moonlight, jangling her noisy coins and bells to scare away the evil spirits. :P Sunday all the belly dancers in class are getting together at Ophelia's to rehearse the dance, pick out and try dancing in our costumes together and possibly get some pictures taken. I need to figure out something tasty to bring...

I think tonight shall be aromatherapy bath night!

leaflove

heartlove
Originally uploaded by ephemeral_arts

"Be relentless in your looking, because you are the one you seek." -Rumi

Sharing once again...

It's been a few years since I've blogged or shared anything with the general public. Life stuff, relationship drama, working too many hours and just plain hermit/healing mode has kept me from the public eye, by my own choice. As the next 4 months will find me finally emerging from my Saturn Return, I find myself renewed. If you don't know about your Saturn Return, it happens from about age 28-30 and turns your life upside down! Everything you are not supposed to be doing stops. Every person you are not supposed to be with anymore, goes away. Jobs change, life changes, you change. It's kind of like The Tower in the tarot cards. It dissolves the structure of what you thought you knew or were and wipes your spirit clean to begin again, perhaps back to the beginning. Life is just a big series of circles, isn't it? So anyway, I am reminded just how much about graphics and html I have completely forgotten or just don't know. I spent a couple hours making the background because I'm still getting to know this graphics program and it's slightly more complicated than I'm used to.

I hope to share my various inspirations, beautiful finds and people, quirky stuff, insights on aromatherapy and other healing modalities, passion for belly dance and whatever else I feel like! I'm starting an aromatherapy line and series of art with a belly dance / goddess theme that I will also share, as I gather things up to make a new go at an etsy site. All of this while practicing dance 6+ hours a week and going to massage therapy school full time. Whew!